By Branden Steinagle
Most songs resonate with me in a lasting way, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt a stronger affinity to a song than “Instant Crush”, a moody electro-rock jam written by Daft Punk and Julian Casablancas (of The Strokes). To provide some context, I had recently clawed my way out of an abusive relationship that left me feeling insecure and worthless for nearly a year. However, in the months following the breakup I realized that the perfect match for me had been hiding in plain sight, as one of my best friends. She was always there for me, especially during the breakup and the post-traumatic insanity that followed. Soon afterwards, she decided to leave her boyfriend who was mistreating her. We almost immediately developed feelings for each other (it was literally an instant crush), and one night I summoned the courage to confess my longing to be with her. It was one of the happiest moments of my life when she reciprocated those same feelings, and then we kissed for what seemed like an eternity. The following day, feeling unsure of myself and terrified of messing things up with the perfect girl, I messed things up with the perfect girl. I told her I couldn’t keep seeing her because I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet and I also felt like I had betrayed her ex-boyfriend, who, at the time, was a good friend of mine. And just like that, the opportunity of a lifetime vanished. The brief, ethereal high seized and was suddenly replaced with an excruciatingly painful comedown that lasted for months. Like an addict in a state of confusion and desperation, I started sleeping with my ex-girlfriend again who made me absolutely miserable, and she went back to her ex-boyfriend who would eventually rape her. I have never felt more heartbroken, guilt ridden, and devastated in my life. Hitting my all-time low I turned to Daft Punk’s newly released album simply because their old music always made me happy and I needed a distraction from my suffering. The minute I heard Julian Casablancas croon his way through “Instant Crush” was one of the strangest revelations of my life. He was retelling my exact story with unbelievable accuracy. I had related to other songs in the past, but every single lyric aligned with my situation. The music itself, the tone of his voice, the delivery of each word, the melody trailing off into hopelessness, it was far too uncanny. The song had to be written for me. There is no other way I can comprehend its existence, the cosmic symmetry between our thoughts, its unnerving relevance not only to what I was going through at the time, but the time itself. It wasn’t as if I had stumbled upon a hidden gem from years ago, the song was delivered to the public at the exact moment my own instant crush both began and ended. It was far too fantastic to be coincidental. My peculiar connection with this song has only magnified over the years. Almost two years later, I actually met Julian Casablancas at a show and we had a conversation about it. By phenomenal chance, my faith in the miraculous nature of music was solidified. EDIT: I forgot to mention that this story has a happy ending. My once-instant crush and I have been in a loving and wonderful relationship for over a year now. That’s another story entirely, but it somehow worked out for us. Music truly heals all.
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By: Lindsay Flora Ever since I can remember music has always played a huge role in my life. The first time I heard the Beatles I realized the beauty of music and how no matter who you are or what you are going through music will always there for you. After having one of the roughest years of my life, considering at the time I had been through 20 long years, I got the chance to go to one of the biggest music festivals on the east coast--Firefly.
As I arrived with a group of close friends I had no idea what I was in for. All I could think about was all the musicians I was about to see live and how this right here may be the best thing I have experienced in all these years I've lived. I got to walk around barefoot and have absolutely no worries in the world. I thought, this week could not get any better right? WRONG! I was about to come face to face--or at least my face staring at a stage with my favorite band performing. The band you may ask, Grouplove. It was the middle of a scorching day when the band was playing and my friends decided to stick to the back end of the crowd. I however, would not have been able to live with myself if I didn't get to the front, so I acted as if my friends were in the front and battled the crowd and marijuana smoke so I could be two rows away from heaven. Eventually I befriended some people around me, shared some good times…if you know what I mean, and then out of nowhere "Wild for the Night" (Skrillex) started playing and Grouplove, with some serious swag took the stage. It was a bit overcast that day, but not one person had any worries as we all shared a common interest, our love for Grouplove. Together, strangers we swayed back and forth as if we had known each other forever. After jumping up and down to some upbeat songs my personal favorite “Hippy Hill” started to play. Now this moment may seem as if it were out of a movie (seriously it could have been) but, at that exact moment as I sang at the top of my lungs, rays of sunshine started to shine down on all of us as if the world was standing still and allowing us to drink in the experience. This may be one of those "had to be there moments" and as it is hard to explain the emotions running through my body at the time, I'll try my best. To quote one of my favorite books,Perks of Being a Wallflower, "In that moment I swear we were infinite”. |
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